J - a review

The J key is phenomenal. It sits on the right side of most keyboards, and is even crowned with a little nub on top. It’s where your right index finger will often rest, and it’s common knowledge that the right index finger is easily the most important finger of all. Now, allow me to delve into all the reasons why this key is simply superior to the rest.

The J key is the leader of the Right Side. The Right consists of the J key, the K key, the L key, and the colon/semicolon. It is where your right hand will rest on your keyboard when idle, and the vast superiority of this group of keys when compared to the rest is gargantuan. Now, if you’ve been living under a rock and don’t quite understand why these keys are better, then we’ve bumped into an issue. That issue is you. Why don’t you know this? Everybody knows this! (Just kidding, you’re probably a great person. Moving on.)

That imposing key standing before J is H. But H doesn’t have the crown, thus deeming it absolutely and utterly inferior. The key standing back-to-back with this key is the G key, which works as a double agent for both Sides, while having the ultimate goal of taking down whichever Side it deems the lesser one. But the G key still doesn’t compare to the J key. 

F stole one of J’s many nubs, crowning itself to try and assert its dominance. However, F has severely underestimated J. Do not support the F key. Glory to the J key. 

F is the leader of the Left Side. The Left Side consists of the A key, the S key, the D key and the F key. These keys always get all the attention, which infuriates J. While the letters in the Right Side are likely used in a smaller amount of words than the letters in the Left Side, the very existence of the J key deems this Side superior, so we must all side with the Right. (The other ‘extra’ keys don’t count.) Glory to the Right. 

In conclusion, the J key is better than the rest. 21/3, would definitely recommend.